Sugar & Coffee

Coffee is great. I mean most of the time if you’re not a coffee drink (like me until I moved to a country where people drink at least 5 cups a day- which ends with me becoming converted) well then shift this metaphor to tea, which is also pretty darn great. So how exactly does this relate to relationships you may ask well…

Like coffee, we as humans take a long time to become our fullest form. There are many ingredients that go into what ends up in front of you on an early Monday morning… and much like coffee, we are made of many small elements – small but STRONG if you catch my drift. This is kind of the incredible thing: we are shaped into something, every small bean is a piece of our story, the roasting process is just another time period in which you are being shaped, morphing into the next version of yourself, then the brewing begins to make what is ultimately the YOU that wakes up every morning; a beautiful composition. So you are the coffee, seriously kick-ass coffee might I add, and you are happy with yourself, you love your coffee the way you love yourself. Now here is where the metaphor transforms and is the advice I would give to anyone going into a relationship:

“you are the coffee, and whoever walks into your life is the sugar- the sweet stuff, the nice stuff- a delightful surprise to the already wonderful coffee that it YOU”

This represents how regardless of the sugar or honey that you ADD to your coffee – aka life- you are happy. YOU are happy alone, and anything that gets ADDED is simply a bonus. Your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t what makes life SOOOOO amazing, you already make it amazing. And this my dear friends is where MANY MANY people lose track of themselves, and frankly, I was one of those people until I learned the REAL ins-and-outs of loving myself, creating inner happiness FIRST, and good lord did it do me good. Not only that but it brought a spectacular man into my life.

I said this the other day, and I think this might be what some women and men might be missing in their life. Gratitude. And I want to start in an unorthodox place: gratitude for yourself. Let me give you an example, I am so tremendously proud of the person I have become, and I DO NOT under any circumstances think that without this immense self-development and self-advancement that I would have met ANYONE that was meant specifically – spiritually- for me. I think I worked for this, I earned this. Weird concept, I know, but go with me on this okay? If I hadn’t given up what I gave up, and focused on building myself up, and climbed towards the best version of myself every day, and FELT pure gratitude for every inhale and exhale, then why should anyone deserving of my love walk into my life? It`s logical. And frankly, spiritual.

So once you have this whole coffee thing in order, and feel confident about your own coffee THEN the possibilities become endless. The perfect coffee can only be composed with the help of gratitude – I swear it. Every single person that I have advised on love or relationships started with the simple recipe of building yourself up FIRST, loving yourself FIRST- resulting in kick-ass coffee. Then you get your sugar. Trust me. Any other version of you getting your honey NINE times out of ten doesn’t result in a wonderfully effortlessly brewed coffee- typically it gets cold fast, or TOO bitter, or just plain bad. Controversial because falling in love is very situational, but I’m talking about THE IDEAL- a healthy beginning of a relationship.  Of course, sometimes your coffee needs to be reheated, you need support from your sugar BUT notice that the coffee was intact, to begin with. That’s my point.

It’s your job to have a strong coffee. To have a strong foundation. Make your coffee great. That’s it.

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