Okay listen up, I have the audacity to tell you to stop overthinking because frankly, I am the over thinking QUEEN. So if you ever thought you were over-thinking – think again, and then do that a hundred times over because that me on a good day.
First, if you know anything about me you know I am probably the most TYPE A personality, control-freak, stress ball mofo out there, which doesn’t help when I am trying to convey and embody this ‘chill’ attitude that I have recently adopted in several aspects of my life. I have truly and really surrendered myself to the universe or life as some of you may call it. Easier said than done though, it`s like fighting fire with fire, and to be honest in certain situations the ‘chill’ attitude has made me make massive progress emotionally and I am utterly grateful as I tend to worry almost as much as I like to over-think. All in all, it wasn’t doing anything good for already existing anxiety issues, but we are all on a road to recovery in one way or another, one step at a time, right? So now that THAT is clear, let me tell you what I have learned from the pure and simple mistakes of over-thinking and what I believe the root causes are (hopefully it will help shed some light for you too).
Let me keep this short, I’m a control freak becausssse you guessed it! I like control (sound familiar?). I like controlled situations where I can predict the next move and when I can’t-do or have either of those I overthink the shit out of whatever may or may not happen. So here is what I have learned:
- Only thing you control is yourself, how you react and how you interpret and how you feel (to an extent ofc) focus on that before running shit outside of yourself – note to self
- Control isn’t always fun, mystery and surprises are quite wonderful additions to life!
- Overthinking ruins GOOD & PURE moments, moments that can be found in the present if you let yourself breathe and just BE THERE rather than spending that time overthinking, you miss what’s right in front of you, something incredible!
- Something connected directly to overthinking is lack of trust… trust in humanity, trust in your family or friends, but above all TRUST in YOURSELF. So sort that shit out first! For me, I realized that I needed to just walk myself through the possibility of something not going MY way and acknowledging that I TRUST myself enough to accept and react to whatever is created by the unknown (some powerful shit right there if you ask me)
- Lastly, I love to refer to this quote when I feel myself going down the rabbit hole of over-thinking: “what good came from worrying, and what changed the situation by over-thinking”. BAM. Nothing, you have to TRUST and simply give yourself the pleasure of enjoying MOMENT in your life. The overthinking will not save a life.
A huge helper for all you over thinkers out there is this: get yourself a friend, a friend that tells you head on “hey look, you`re over-thinking the shit out of this”, for me there`s usually an “again” at the end of that sentence. I count my lucky stars that I have such an incredible best friend, Kelsey, that even an ocean away can be straight with me and tell me honestly when I cross the line. She also said something really interesting the other day about ‘face value’, and it connects directly with POINT #3, that taking (some) things in life at face value gives you the chance to breathe in what is right in front of your eyes and enjoy the beauty of it, even if it lasts only for a moment, you were there and I think that counts for a lot already. Life is short.
Now if you don’t have that kind of person in your life to call you out, call yourself out. Ask yourself: AM I over-thinking and what good will come of it? OWN IT – if you are. And quickly forgive yourself. It happens. Love yourself despite relapse (or several), but draw yourself a line and be mindful of that line. Since there is a bit of a time difference between Berlin and Vancouver sometimes I have to be this person for myself as well. For now, realize just like I did (still do) that you are only hurting yourself by overthinking situations, and the best solution I`ve found is taking a deep breath, refocus on the present and create a positive affirmation to bring your best self back in the here and now. Let me give you an example:
* deep breath * – “I choose to be here full-heartedly”
Short and sweet. Try it.
Hope this helps slightly for you over thinkers and all those involved in the overthinking process, I know it can be annoying and tough for others but I promise, we mean well and just want everyone to be happy!