(July 13th 2017)
Ten days ago I made a choice, one that I believe will shape my future and push me into the direction that I need and want to go. This choice was not easy, but I wouldn’t say it was “not-doable”, I wish many things were different in terms of why I left, and how I left but in the end, the past is in the past, there isn’t much you can do about it. I have this philosophy that in order to succeed you need to constantly be evolving, specifically I mean you need to always be reaching for the best version of yourself to date. Without you being good, or even great, how do you expect to achieve greatness? I think it may sound naive coming from me, someone so young, but for some reason I always find myself telling people twice my age, sometimes three times my age, that THEY are the most important consistency in their life, and THEREFORE need to take care of themselves. It`s very much like the concept: how can someone love you if you don’t love yourself full heartedly? Think about that.
Anyways, I guess you could say I have come ‘into my own’ (a direct translation from German to English), I feel more aligned and every time something does get hard, I know that it`ll be okay, because this is MY path and whatever comes into my path is mine and I am the one that gets to deal with it, the good or bad, the consequences or profits, it doesn’t matter because in the end owning myself feels REALLY fucking good. I don’t think I`m like most people as I crave responsibility, so this process is kind of like falling in love, thrilling and yet also nerve-wracking.Until this point, this day, I don’t think I was ready to really accept all that came with the choice of moving an ocean away from everything and everyone, and now I feel as though I have come to terms with the “Schaden” (the broken pieces of a decision), and if I’m honest it was worth the tears in the last ten days to come to this point.
… Looking back on this (2 months later) I can really find pride and admiration in myself and the countless times I really pushed forward, found my inner courage and did everything in my power to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And honestly, that is what it`s all about in the end.